The Bubble

So I've got the kids in bed, candles are lit, my Meiko channel on Pandora in the background, and I'm ready to write.  I'm ready to step outside the "bubble" for a minute, as if that's even possible.  I'm starting to think of this life season as a bubble.  It's a fun and interesting bubble, changing shapes and colors, but one thing remains the same, it's round and enclosed and I can't get out.  Once in awhile when someone, like tonight, let's me get out "on my own," it's really like a momentary fleet.  I feel like the whole trip to and from Kroger I'm coming out of my alien-like state.  I walk tall and try to breathe.  I try to look the man on the bread aisle in the eyes and force a casual smile.  I breathe and attempt small-talk with the cashier.  By the time I'm heading back to my car I might feel like a normal person again.  Then I go back to my bubble.

It's nice in here.  That's because I've declared it a blessed bubble.  I'm no dummy.  I know we have it good. My Father is just that good.  I have my days as we all do.  Most people don't have any idea what happens inside my bubble.   Sometimes that's the part that is the hardest.  He sees though.

They don't know about the silly songs we make up about trash and diapers and grapes and suds in the bath.  They don't see us touch noses, and they don't see me tear up when you say such sweet things to my heart.  I don't get to touch people outside much besides those inside my bubble, you and our boys.  I escape out a window once in awhile, meet a friend or, like tonight, go to the grocery store without my bubble buddies.

But I've come to accept this bubble in this time and space.  It's cozy and hard and I'm learning a lot.  I'm watching them grow.  I'm taking it all in, as I'm told to do quite often, "They grow up fast!"  Sometimes I push against the wall of the bubble; I long for something different.  But then I realize it's useless, and God reminds me, "Everything's okay."  I think how hard it would be to go back to work.  Work a job and then come home and do all this!?  My heart goes out to those moms who do it "all."  Crazy-overwhelming to think of it.

I'm thankful for the bubble; this short story I am living in.  I know it's going to pop one day and I'm going to miss the small, confined space where we stared at each other all day, looking for ways to entertain ourselves, laughing together, sometimes bored, sometimes slamming doors, tickling till the hiccups start, making messes, making memories.  My kids are going to grow big and tall and hit your heads at the top of the bubble and it will burst all of a sudden.  I am going to say, "Hey, what just happened?  What now!?"

I hope I don't fall and hurt myself.

They will be fine.  They'll create their own bubbles.

Getting used to the bubble takes time.  I'll look back and miss it.  So I'm going to pay attention now as much as possible, and make this bubble last.

Do What You Can

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What's your 'real' work?

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This is sooooo true!

Be idle long enough to know what it is you WANT to do with your life.

Life is dessert

"Life is dessert--too brief to hurry."  --Ann Voskamp

Extreme Avoidance

Life is a balancing act. Everywhere you look, there are people living in extremes, and it's extremely painful to watch if you've already come to this realization. This guy works morning till night at the office. This girl spends all her free time shopping and going into debt. This mom has got her whole self tangled in the throws of motherhood and can't seem to remember what life was like before kids. This dad lives for touchdowns. This girl lives on the internet and can't seem to quit. Everything in good measure and moderation, right? I've found that no matter who you are, we all have balancing issues. The Lord Jesus has shown me that the only answer to our balancing act is found in keeping Him central in our lives. He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. If you haven't discovered this yet, just taste for yourself and see. If we keep Him on the throne of our hearts, He will do the balancing for us. Otherwise we end up feeling spread too thin, angry or frustrated, ping pong balls that can't sit still. Jesus makes me slow down, focus and handle the busyness of life, and truly persevere and enjoy life, whatever the season. Without Him, I'd be living the extreme of something, and the only thing I want too much of, is Him! (and I can never get enough)

Free Family Fun Day

This week we went to the Children's Museum in Atlanta called Imagine It, an interactive play museum designed for children under eight.  It was soooo much fun watching the kids explore and play and discover.  They even had a little 2 and under area for Titus (although we let Sadie play in there for a little while too--ssh! :)  Sadie's very favorite station she did not want to leave was the sand table.  Another great part of our day...it was free!  (besides paying $5 for parking)  Target sponsors everyone for free one Tuesday a month.  We will have to go again next month!  We went across the street to Centennial Park afterwards where they had the neatest playgrounds.  Best day ever!!

Kid at Heart, or Grow up already!

I'm not sure, but I think I could write a whole book about being a child, what that kind of life really looks like, and how staying a child can help us to grow up.  It keeps coming back to mind as I go about.  Especially now that I am a mother.  I look at my kids and see into their eyes.  While their experiences number no where near to mine, I admire the wonder in their moments.  I long for the peace and contentment, simplicity and joy.  It's a world I long to live in again, childhood.  I wonder, can I go back?  And it's not that I want to actually physically be there again, I just want the wonder.  I want the simplicity.  And no, children are not innocent of evil, but I want the naivity that keeps them pure at heart.  I want to be a child and stay a child all of my days.  And I know God wants this for me because He says so in His written Word.  

When you're young, you're in a hurry to grow up.  If I had a quarter for every time I heard Sadie, my two year-old say, "No, I want to do it ALL BY MYSELF!"  It's great.  She's learning her independence.  What a stage to be at.  Each day finding something NEW you can do.  How exciting!  Can I go back there?  Adults who have forgotten how it was to be young hardly ever learn new things every day.  But I think it's part of what makes a kid's life so adventurous.  Then we get older and stay in denial and think, "When did I get so old?" We find ourselves relaying to people, "It was just yesterday when..."  We reminisce the "good 'ol days" and dreamily retell a memory and say "Ah, those were the days."  What if we could feel that way about our lives in whatever stage we find ourselves in?  I believe the older "grown-ups" who are happy with their lives and what they're doing can reminisce, while still love the stage they're in, only if they've discovered the art of being a "child at heart."  

Sure there are some negative connotations to never growing up.  No one purposely strives to be in Peter Pan's predicament.  But, if we could truly grasp what it means to be a kid in the healthy sense, I'd think we'd have to make some major changes in our thinking and in our lives.  

We'd have to remember to have fun, first of all.  Many adults have no problem with this part of childhood.  Some even go to the extreme and shun all kinds of work and responsibility.  They're probably the ones who didn't "get it all out" in childhood, or are unhappy with how things are turning out for them.  They're the ones whom we speak about when we say, "I wish they'd grow up."  They're the ones who have a hard time with responsibility.  Yet the majority of us responsible ones still find ourselves looking forward to the next "event."  When's the game on?  A party?--Let me check my calendar.  Is Friday here yet?  Shoot, it's Monday again.  I need a vacation.  Forget girls just want to have fun; people just want to have fun!  Is there a single person on Earth that doesn't want to have?  Sure there are people who have forgotten how to have fun.  I feel sorry for them.  Funny thing is, you never have to remind a kid.  We are just born fun-crazy.  I'd venture to say that kids love fun so much they would marry it if they could!  No one ever has to twist a kid's arm to go to Chuck E. Cheese.  They live for that!  And us parents get it too--we use this hopeless affair with fun to get kids to do work; make it fun!  (Let's sing together now, "Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere!") It's sort of like the cheese on the broccoli.  Rather than helping a kid develop a taste for things that are good for them, we disguise them so it will "help the medicine go down."  It's because kids are "fun-addicts!"  I think in many ways, it's just that what is fun to us simply changes when we get old.  Then when we start having kids, reliving those childish things is fun again.  The quarter rides at the supermarket, playgrounds, balloons, trick-or-treating, fairs, bubbles, throwing rocks, climbing trees, etc.  

While having "fun" is part of being a kid, it's not even the part that I admire the most. Maybe I'll get to that next time.  Have to go be responsible now.

Enter the Promise Land

Where are you? The Wilderness or the Promise Land

What is the wilderness?

The wilderness is that place of comfortable, routine daily living.  You’ve been set free from bondage and have entered eternal life (out of Egypt); in other words, you’re saved.  But, to be in the wilderness means to be out of God’s will for your life. The wilderness is easy, low-risk, low-rewards loving.  It means you’re going through the motions, maybe being religious, but not going through the growth process that the Lord wants for you.  In the wilderness there are times of testing and trials.  But there is no fruit until you step into the Promise Land, where God desires us to be, with Him!  To remain in the wilderness, all you have to do is go around and around, not really facing the giants in your life.  Being in the wilderness sometimes means wanting to go back to Egypt (slavery) when you can’t; and it means not going forward, when you could.  It means to be content with your salvation, and not really desiring to fight the fight.  It may be unbelief, fear, pride, or just keeping a mindset from the past—holding on to old behaviors.  Getting out of the wilderness only takes a step of faith.  We’re not alone.  God does go with us.  He says only, “Be strong and courageous.”  If you want to take hold of the promises that God has available to you, you have to step into the Promise Land.  And that means, going with Joshua—The Lord Saves—and facing the giants in your life.  The wilderness is a place of freedom, but not a place of promise.  This brings me to the Promise Land. 

What is the Promise Land?
The Promise Land is just that—land of God’s promises.  It does not symbolize heaven, because then we can say that Moses did not make it to heaven, and we know that he did.  It represents Abundant Life here on Earth.  Life with Jesus—in every moment that we offer ourselves in sweet surrender to His voice calling to us.  In the moment—moments when we face our giants—our fears—ourselves.  Whatever our strongholds are—our Jericho—that is where the Lord is going.  Joshua—Jesus—is headed straight for the things that have a strong hold on us.  That is what it means to be in the Promise Land.  And as God promised Joshua—if you are strong and courageous (relying on my strength alone)—you can face whatever trials you may come across.  And you will experience abundant life, unbelievable peace in the midst of turmoil or any circumstance.  God desires us to enter into His Holy Ground today—every day.  Here on Earth.  Not when we get to heaven, because that is where there are no trials.  That is when all is complete forever.  Right now though, we have the opportunity to walk through the promise land, where we are in the midst of our enemies, and fight alongside our Jesus.  The Promise Land is where we see huge fruit.  Huge!  This is where His Word is sweet as honey, and fruit is produced in our lives as we walk on the land God has given us. 

It’s amazing the parallels that are here!  God, thousands of years ago as you led Your people out of Egypt by the blood of the lamb, you delivered them, saved them, carried them through their rebellion, and they finally enter into the rest that You intended all along.  And while it looks a lot different from the Paradise that we will one day enter into, it’s still amazing to see what You offer Your people.  All of those things that the children of Israel went through, apply to our lives every day here!  You are awesome God!

Sometimes we see end results of people’s lives…like let’s say at a wedding, a funeral, or family…what we’re looking at and praise God for is not the promise land…it’s not an end result of any kind…it’s the fruit that is being cultivated in people’s lives.

We have to enter into God’s promise land…and eternal life…with the heart of a child.  God says to come to him like a child.  Children are always amazed by something.  They are easily excited and don’t struggle with unbelief.  They enter into rest because they know someone is taking care of them. 
Similar to a gold fish.  They swim around their bowl, and they don’t fret that they’re swimming around the bowl and see the same three objects over and over again because they don’t even realize it!  They are just excited each and every time, because they are living in the moment! That’s how I want to be….I want to be continually in awe of that treasure chest in my bowl!  Like a child.  Like a fish.  Don’t hold onto your adult, stubborn ways, thinking you have to have it all together.  All you have to do is live and trust in Your Father.  In that there is great joy and peace.

All of this is a description of Christian living here on Earth.  It’s not new.  There is nothing new under the sun.  But, it’s what I’ve been sensing from the Lord for awhile now.  I want to remain in the Promise Land.  I want to enter in, as soon as I find myself complacent and living a comfortable, mundane existence, I want to stop and look around and find out where I ignored the voice of God—the last place I was disobedient.  I need to surrender it up to Him.  And it all can happen in a twinkle of an eye.  I’d say I’ve been in a wilderness for about a year now, and I’ve been coming out of it for about a month or two. I’m allowing God to deal with me in areas I need to let go of.  I’ve been experiencing His rest.  Trusting Him to heal my hurts.  When I start to feel the urge to fight people and stick up for myself, I know that I’m going back to my old ways.  I’m in the Promise Land to stay.  I may try and go back to the wilderness at times because it’s so much easier there.  But I want the fruit.  I want to walk with Jesus.  I want to face the giants in my life.  Face my fears.  I want to grow and go where I haven’t gone before.