In life we have something we call “defining moments.”  Maybe it was the day you decided to quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom.  Maybe it was when you woke up one day and decided you weren’t going to let depression defeat you anymore, or you decided to finally quit smoking. Maybe it was the moment you promised to start pursuing your dream. You know what I’m talking about.  It could mean anything.  Big or small. A defining moment is a point when one comes face to face with a truth–and is forever changed by it.
One of the most defining moments I have ever encountered occurred as a result of my husband losing his job seven months ago.  It came in the midst of a difficult time during which he was finally, after years of procrastination, seeking medical attention and council for an anxiety disorder.  His symptoms were increasing rapidly and really affecting his work, but we were secure in the fact that God was at work, too.
I’ll never forget the day when I heard Jason’s footsteps coming up the stairs, hours earlier than usual.  I was playing on the floor with the kids in their room when I looked up at him standing in the hallway.  My heart was pounding in my chest.  Immediately our eyes connected, and I knew. While neither of us knew what to say right away, especially in front of the kids, his face exuded relief.  Although my heart nearly stopped, it wasn’t panic in me that took me by surprise.  In the midst of this rush of emotion, I, too, felt relieved.  How is this possible?  Most people would probably be worried and upset right off the bat.  But you see, this is what made this moment so defining.  From that point on, it was as if our hearts knew change was coming.  We were desperate for it.  Even though the next few months would be strange, uncertain, life-altering months, we chose to look at this not as a bomb that was being dropped on us, but as a God-given opportunity for renewal.
We eventually jumped into uncharted territory, asking God to lead and guide us like we never had before, praying that we wouldn’t fall into the same ruts again.  He allowed us to sell our house in record time, including almost all of our belongings.  We took a giant leap of faith and moved clear across the country of all things.  Far away from nearly all of our loved ones, far away from our familiar life of patterns and circles.  One friend described to me that it felt like we were about to blaze the Oregon Trail, looking to settle new territory.  So much unknown, yet hearts full of hope.  Here we are now, seven months later, and I’m having increasingly more defining moments than ever.  But not the big kind like the move, just small ones with big impact.  Like tiny, shining jewels, little revelations of truth keep popping up around me, causing me to rethink the recipe of our lives.  I’m grateful my eyes are being opened again to these moments.  As I observe our simple surroundings, our few possessions, our small family life, I’m focused and aware that nothing is as it was, yet everything is moving forward. I am coming awake to God’s Presence in the world.  We made it through some extremely hard decisions, and here we are, pressing on, bearing the promise of His constant love and provision.  In this gently stripping away of all things familiar, there are opportunities to see everywhere, to take stock of all that we have and all that we are, and with a clean slate, start paying attention.  I now find myself not afraid to get rid of old habits, or embrace new ones that will actually benefit me and my family.  I find I’m making meaning out of what I see.  Whether good or bad, I want to call it what it is, and be brave enough to do something about it.
Do you ever feel like you’re in a boat and you’re trying hard to hold tightly to the sides so as to not let anything rock your world?  Or maybe you’ve got your eyes shut tight and you’re coasting in auto-pilot because you are afraid of what you might find if you take a good look around?  Faith is having the courage to let go of the sides of the boat.  Faith is having eyes open to see what God is doing, especially in the mess.  Did you know that the sea often represents chaos in the Bible?  Life can get pretty dull and lifeless when we refuse to let Him call us out upon the waters.  That’s where God wants us, striding on top of the chaos with Him, not stuck and afraid.
Never again do I want to let years pass where we fail to address difficult issues in our lives.  We let habits come in, and let old patterns that help us feel good dominate the things that should have really mattered to us enough to deal with them a long time ago.  We were too comfortable in “survival mode,” too asleep, or else too self-protected to let anything change, lest whatever good thing we had in the boat be shaken.  No more.  Let that bomb of reality, the one meant for your distrution, shake you to a place of unknown, unrest, and a new beginning.
A truly defining moment is an invitation for intentional living.  It’s a call to bravery.  It requires listening, and action.  It means obedience to the spirit and the truth.  It’s not always bliss, and it’s not always safe, but it tastes of the real stuff that life is made of, the transforming power of Jesus.
Feb 5, 2014, edited March 21, 2018